WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS OK
Yesterday I thought I was ok today. I was trying to get a
lot of things done and couldn’t get all the things on my list done and I felt
bad. Almost every day I race at high energy speed to accomplish whatever I
planned for the day and most days I don’t get to everything. Last night, it
crashed in on me suddenly when I realized I wasn’t going to get my Preach
letter finished on time. I was only half way through the draft and I was
exhausted. I took a short break and switched over to check my Facebook feed and
God was already there.
A couple of days ago my friend Yvonne sent me a private
message, which I’d missed. God saved it for last night when I needed it most.
My heart just sunk down and I sobbed listening to the song I’ve attached here.
This is what I immediately wrote back to Yvonne and I feel it for everyone of you
too. Please accept my gratitude for your prayers and love. It means so much to
me right now in my grief over Jane.
This was my letter to Yvonne and now to you too:
“I can hardly believe I missed this, but God made sure I
got it just now! I really needed it too! Navigating my emotions is like going
across a lake in a storm - not so fun. One day I'm full of energy and doing all
sorts of things, then the next, I'm exhausted and hardly able to do half of everything
I put on my list I'm so wiped out :-(. I have new plans and do things I used to
do for exercise and relaxation, and then I wipe out again. I try to be strong
and then I'm not and I burst into tears.
Losing someone you lived with, cared about, knew
practically everything about, and then they're just gone. It's not easy that's
for sure. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing and most of the time
I remember to ask the Lord about just about everything, and when I don't
there've been some consequences but not really bad ones. He forgives a lot.
So I'm doing the best I can. I sure do appreciate your
prayers and I know they're being answered and are doing even more good things
for my life than I even realize right now. I am seeing good things happen that
I never imagined, truthfully, and I think your prayers and others as well are a
big part of that. You haven't forgotten me and that means so much right now.
Thank you from all my heart.
I'd never heard this song before, but it put a quietness
in my heart that I really needed right now. I love you and pray for you, Brad,
and all your family every morning :-) (and I do that for all of you too).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGD9X8OUYcc
I sought to do His will but I was failing at the task at
hand, so He sought me and gave me rest. “I sought the LORD, and he heard
me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psa. 34:4).
Love, Carolyn
No comments:
Post a Comment