WHO PROTECTS A SCRAPPER?
By the age of four, I was a scrapper. Some called it
selfish, but for me, it was self-preservation. At four years old, I had a
two-year-old brother and a one-year-old sister. I could see this wasn’t working
out for me, so I wrapped all my favorite stuffed animals and toys, as well as
my clothes, in a blue blanket and headed out the door and down the driveway. I
didn’t get very far before mom coaxed me back, announcing that my favorite TV
show was about to start.
My first day in kindergarten, I bit a girl on the arm
when she cut in front of me to get on the swing. The teacher called my parents.
I learned early on that dad was busy working late, mom
had to take care of my younger siblings, and I had to fight for myself. When
some older neighborhood kids tied me up and locked me in their garage with a
hose underneath the door so they could torment me with threats from outside,
there was no one to come to the rescue. I screamed in terror at the top of my
lungs until the older kids let me out. I’m not sure if my parents ever even
knew about that.
In sixth grade, when the boys made fun of me, I wrestled
Lex Garcia to the ground, pinning him down so he couldn’t get up till the
teacher made me get off him.
Being a scrapper, I grew up fighting for myself. Then,
when I became a Christian, I fought for my friends and the people I loved. I
still do, just different weapons.
I don’t blame anyone in my family for not making me feel
protected. Those early years jaded my thinking, and I was pretty good at hiding
my feelings. I grew a hard shell and a tough persona. I didn’t have the feeling
or experience of a father who fought for me, or a big brother either. They
probably didn’t know I was in so much trouble, or they felt I was tough enough
on my own. I always felt I was on my own. And even with God, I knew He would
eventually bring justice to pass, but not quickly. Until now.
There was an incident at work where I was being accused
of something I didn’t do, and the rumors were being spread. Suddenly, the hair
on my arms stood up, and the hackles of my mind rose up, ready to fight.
Isaiah 51:20 describes it perfectly: “Thy sons have fainted, they lie at
the head of all the streets, as a wild bull in a net: they are full of fury.”
That was me.
I felt like I was right back in that garage, little
Carolyn, tied up, terrified, and enraged. I did my best to hold my tongue, but
some descriptive words did slip out! But this time was different. My Father God
and my big brother Jesus brought swift judgment on those who would bully me and
bring me down. Those who accused me were exposed and taken down.
In all my life, I’ve never seen it happen so fast! I was
shocked, and I’ll never again doubt that God has my back. He has your back,
too. He is a great, great father!
If you have a father in the natural who you know has got
your back, you are a very blessed person. And if you are a father, try to be
this person for your kids.
If you’ve never felt the protection of a father or big
brother in your natural life, then I am praying that if you ever have a
demoralizing situation like I had, you will also experience the protection,
love, care, and avenging, like I did. God’s fatherly actions and Jesus’
brotherly interceding are unmistakable and life-changing.
Love, Carolyn
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