A BRIEF PEEK AT GRIEF
We changed our TV service and can only watch movies now. My
roommate, Jane, said: “Carolyn, I gotta tell you, I’m really having a problem
with this. I miss not being able to watch baseball.” At that moment, I realized
that the loss of anything is like the death of it, and as long as we live on
this earth, there’s going to be grief that comes with any loss. Over these
months of the COVID virus, we’ve all experienced some form of loss.
To try to ignore the grief is just as wrong as letting ourselves
get trapped in it. It’s better to face the loss head-on and admit to it.
Different emotional reactions will surface, and we have to let them happen.
Then when we can, we move on.
Grieving is a universal phenomenon. There are plenty of studies on
sorrow and grief, but there’s still much to be learned about how it works, how
long it takes, and the effects it has. The one thing we do know is that it’s a
process, and it varies with situations and people.
We can see from the Bible different examples of the grieving
process. Signs of grief we find in the Bible include tearing one’s robe, putting
dust and ashes into the hair and leaving it a mess, shaving the hair or beard,
wearing black, removing jewelry, neglecting physical hygiene, fasting, and
wearing sackcloth. Sackcloth was made of goat or camel hair and was course and
uncomfortable. One Bible dictionary said that men were generally more silent in
grief and women more vocal and demonstrative.
These were things that exhibited in ancient times, but the
grieving process hasn’t really changed much over the years. Just one example I
can think of is female friends who’ve done something to change the style or
color of their hair after a divorce or break-up. I don’t know if it’s even a
conscious decision or just part of the inward, inherent grief reaction.
In the Bible, the days of mourning also varied. In the case of
Jacob, it was 70 days (Gen. 50:3). In Saul’s case, only 7 days (1 Sam. 31:13).
In Moses’ time, the official period of grief was 30 days.
When Moses died and the allowable 30 days were over, God told
Joshua it was time for him to get up and get going. I think that a lot of times
we need someone with insight to help us get going too, to wake us up out of our
grief, and get us to move on before the sorrow destroys us or makes us morose.
I know I needed a push when my dog Spike passed away. I was so sad
I couldn’t see getting a new dog and had convinced myself that I couldn’t get
one because of the cat. My friend Miki kept pestering me with pictures of
rescue dogs that needed homes, and I kept pushing the idea away. Then, my
roommate, Jane, rescued a dog from the alleyway. We made two failed attempts at
giving him away and finally got the message: “Keep the dog!” And of course, we
love him like crazy now. He pulled me out of my depression. My time of grief
was supposed to be over, and God was working through insightful people, forcing
me to move on.
When God pushed Joshua out of his grief, it was by a new thing for
him. Moses had died, and now Joshua had the responsibility to lead God’s
people. I’m sure it was a little intimidating. Any time we have to embrace
something new, after losing something we love, it’s hard. But we don’t have to
do it alone. God told Joshua, “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid,
neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou
goest” (Joshua 1:9).
When we lose loved ones, our homes, our jobs, our favorite
restaurants, our TV, or any other thing, it’s perfectly normal to grieve those
things. We shouldn’t deny ourselves some portion of grieving. It’s shows true
character to willingly face a loss head-on. Then talk about it with the Lord.
He already knows, but it helps us to voice what we’re feeling. After that, we
have two choices: 1. giving up and regressing to old bad habits, or 2. we recognize
that the Lord is with us in our wilderness and He will lead us out. The first
choice may seem like the easiest, and it may be, but the second choice is
definitely the best and will bring us to new beginnings, and God will not
disappoint.
Love, Carolyn
WINGS: A Journey in Faith Volume 2. The stories in this book will change your life. 😊 Get your copy
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