HOW TO DEAL WITH LOSS

HOW TO DEAL WITH LOSS

Several years ago, we hit hard times and had to cut down expenses. I cut back our TV service, which meant we lost all the sports channels. My roommate Jane said, “Carolyn, I gotta tell you, I’m really having a problem with this. I miss not having baseball.” At that moment, I realized that the loss of anything is like the death of it and as long as we live on this earth, grief and loss are realities. So how can we deal with them in the most positive way?

 

Trying to ignore the loss of someone or something is just as devastating as letting ourselves get overwhelmed by it. It’s better to face the loss head-on and admit to it. We especially need to acknowledge our emotional reactions, speaking them out loud, even writing them down, to answer the question, “How do I really feel about all this?” Most people know we need to give the grieving process time before we can move on.

 

Sorrow is universal. There’s plenty of studies on it, but still much to be learned about how it works, how long it takes, and the effects it has on a person. The one thing we do know is that it’s a process and it varies with situations and people.

 

We can see from the Bible different examples of grieving. Signs included tearing one’s robe, weeping, having disheveled hair, putting dust and ashes into one’s hair or shaving the hair or beard. Other indications of sorrow included wearing black or sad-colored clothing, removal of ornaments or neglect of person, fasting or abstinence in meat or drink, and wearing sackcloth. Sackcloth was made of goat or camel hair and was course and uncomfortable.

 

All of these reactions are manifestations on the outer man, of what is being felt on the inside. One Bible dictionary said that men were generally more silent in grief and women more vocal and demonstrative.

 

The grieving process hasn’t really changed much over the years. Just one example I can think of is female friends who’ve done something to change the style or color of their hair after a divorce. I don’t know if it’s even a conscious decision or an extension of the inward, inherent grief reaction.

 

In the Bible, the days of mourning also varied. In the case of Jacob, it was 70 days (Gen. 50:3). In Saul’s case, only 7 days (1 Sam. 31:13). In Moses’ time, the official period of grief was 30 days.

 

For everyone, there comes a time when the major grieving must discontinue, not the memory but the extended deep sorrow and negative effects on everyday life.

 

When Moses died and the allowable 30 days was over, God told Joshua it was time for him to get up and get going. I think that a lot of times we need someone with insight to help us get going too, to wake us up out of our grief and get us to move on before the sorrow destroys us or makes us someone nobody wants to be around.

 

I know I needed a push when my dog Spike passed away. I was so sad I couldn’t see getting a new dog and had convinced myself that I couldn’t get one because of our old cat. My friend Miki kept pestering me with pictures of rescue dogs that needed homes, and I kept pushing the idea away. Then, my roommate, Jane, rescued an abandoned starving chihuahua from an alley by our house. We made two failed attempts at giving him away and finally got the message: “Keep the dog!” My time of grief was supposed to be over, and God was working through insightful people, forcing me to move on.

 

When God pushed Joshua, it was a new thing for him. Moses was gone, and now he had the responsibility to lead God’s people. I’m sure it was a little intimidating. Any time we have to embrace something new after losing something we loved, it’s hard. But we don’t have to do it alone. God told Joshua: “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:9).

 

When we lose our loved ones, our homes, our jobs, our 150 channels, it’s normal, and it’s right to grieve those things.

 

The most positive response to loss is to recognize and face the loss head-on, acknowledging it for what it is and letting all the corresponding emotions come to the surface and come out. Then lastly, wake up to know the loss has opened up an opportunity to seek and trust the Lord to fill the gap.

 

In Isaiah 48:6, God promises He will show us new things, hidden things that we’ve never known before. “I have shown thee new things from this time, even hidden things, and thou didst not know them.”

 

We put our hope in God and the Lord Jesus Christ that when the grieving process has run its course, there will be something wonderful and new to enjoy. And one day, all grief will be gone.

 

“God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain” (Rev. 21:4). What an amazing and awesome promise to all who have chosen to believe and accept Jesus Christ as Lord.

 

Love, Carolyn

 

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REVELATION, UNDERSTANDING, INSPIRATION

 REVELATION, UNDERSTANDING, INSPIRATION

The late prophet, Kim Clement, explained that truth has three parts: Revelation, Illumination, and Inspiration. Revelation is something revealed. God has revealed Himself and His ways in the manual for life, the Bible. But the Bible is only words in a book until those words are illuminated. Illumination is when the proverbial light bulb goes on, and we all of a sudden understand what we’ve read or heard. It’s that “ah-ha” moment. It’s when things flow together and understanding takes place. This can only happen when God’s light turns on in a person’s heart.  

 

As Jesus said: “He that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it, which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty” (Matt. 13:23). In the New Testament, the Greek word for ‘understand’ is ‘sunesis’ or ‘suniemi,’ and it means “to put together, mentally to comprehend, understand.”

 

The Lord wants us to be illuminated with understanding, and like Matthew 15:10 tells us: “Jesus called the multitude, and said unto them, ‘Hear, and understand.’”

 

But without the light of the Lord illuminating what we hear or read, this is what happens: “Hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and not perceive: for the heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes have they closed; lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them” (Acts 28:26-27).

 

Sunesis is what brings everything together and makes the Bible alive and real, and not just words on a page.

 

So, first, we have the revelation, then the spiritually-illuminated understanding, and the final part is inspiration.

 

The word ‘inspire’ comes from the Latin combination of two words: ‘in’ or ‘into,’ and ‘spirare,’ with means ‘to breathe.’ So inspiration is “a breathing into.” When we sneeze into the air, we make the molecules of air and dust in front of us take action. The sneezing moves the particles with force, and sometimes we can even see it. So when we breathe or speak into the air, we make particles in the air move physically.

 

When the things that come out of our mouths are inspired by the Lord, they move both physical and spiritual entities. It’s a principal God set up for us to be able to “will and to do of His good pleasure” in the world (Phil. 2:13).

 

God gets us moving first by revelation from the Bible in written, spoken, or living form. Then the understanding is something that comes by Him bringing things together to put light on what was revealed. Then inspiration is what we do with it, taking it into the world. These three in combination (Revelation, Understanding, and Inspiration) bring us to a higher, more positive spiritual level in life.

 

Love, Carolyn

 

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SEEING BEYOND FACE VALUE AND NOT BEING SO QUICK TO JUDGE

 

SEEING BEYOND FACE VALUE AND NOT BEING SO QUICK TO JUDGE

I’m studying Vasari’s book about the lives of the artists in the Renaissance period. I’m on the chapter about Giotto. At first glance, I wrote him off as a very primitive artist, especially when compared to Michelangelo, Raphael, or some other art masters that came later. But I decided to give Giotto a chance, so I found a great website (wikiart.com) where I could take a closer look. I was so elated when I saw how he could communicate so many facial expressions and different body positions before somebody even discovered the idea of perspective and other techniques for figurative painting.  

 

I spent all afternoon just looking at many of his paintings and blowing them up so I could get a closer look at the wonderful details. I thought about how important it is for us to stop judging people at face value, according to how they look. If we always believe our first impressions about people, we’re probably looking carnally and not seeing the truth. Jesus never did this when he lived as a man on earth, and he doesn’t do it now. He only judges if God shows him something because God sees the heart. We need to look at people the way Jesus does. Like it says in 1 Samuel 16:7: “But the Lord said unto Samuel, ‘Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.’”

 

We can see in the Old Testament many examples of how God worked through people who had physical or mental infirmities, like Moses who had anger issues, Jacob who had a limp, the lepers who saved a whole city, and many others. God didn’t care about how people looked or how poor their mental health was. If people wanted to serve Him, He would show them how. It’s the same today.

 

People criticized Jesus for his interaction with Zacchaeus. We see the story in Luke 19: 1-7:

 

“And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. And, behold, there was a man named Zacchæus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich. 

 

“And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the press, because he was little of stature. And he ran before and climbed up into a sycomore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way. 

 

“And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, ‘Zacchæus, make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house.’ 

 

“And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully. And when they saw it, they all murmured, saying that he was gone to be guest with a man that is a sinner.”

 

Jesus didn’t judge Zacchaeus by the way he looked, how short he was, by the money he had, or by any other standard, but only that the man really wanted to see Jesus. So Jesus went to spend a little time with the man at his house. Have you ever had Jesus come to your house? He will if you want him to. You may think I’m crazy, but Jesus comes to our house a lot in the evenings to just hang out and be with us. That’s what he did with Zacchaeus, and he even tells us in Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” We can take that literally as well as spiritually. When he comes to our house, he brings a peace that fills the whole living room. Jane says that everything just always feels sweet when he arrives. And he doesn’t even care that we’re in our pj’s or have bad hair. He doesn’t care about any of that carnal stuff.

 

When I first looked at Giotto’s paintings, I only briefly looked at a very small photo and quickly dismissed it as primitive. But at a closer look, I saw his heart and his tremendous talent. The heart and talent is what Jesus sees, and it’s what God sees. Let’s walk in the image of the Lord and see people like true believers are supposed to see each other.

 

Love, Carolyn

 

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BAIT AND SWITCH - SPIRITUAL DECEPTION RUNS DEEP

  

THE BAIT AND SWITCH – SPIRITUAL DECEPTION RUNS DEEP

The spirit that controlled Laban in the Bible, is rampant in Las Vegas and it takes wisdom to know what to do about it in various circumstances of everyday life here. We call it the “bait and switch.”  Unfulfilled promises everywhere. “Spend your money in the machines and at the tables and you can be a millionaire.” “Pay the exorbitant money to go to the night clubs and you’ll meet the hottest girl or the greatest guy.” These promises rarely get fulfilled, yet people are lured in by the thousands.

 

But it’s not only in the obvious places like casinos and sexy bars, but in the construction industry, restaurants, and relationships as well. Deception is all around us every day. It is a very old and well-conceived strategy of Satan to make something bad look good and something good look bad. The devil uses demons bringing pleasure or pressure to manipulate us into his way of thinking, rather than God’s way. But we mustn’t be tricked.

 

We have the spiritual purity and integrity within us to beware and thrive in the midst of the lies that confront us. Only the Lord’s wisdom will keep a person out of the trap of these spiritual jaws. The key is to ask Him for wisdom, like it says in James. Then expect that He is giving it to us on call whenever we need it, which these days seems to be nearly all the time!

 

Knowledge is information, but wisdom is how to use the knowledge, how to apply it for successful results.

 

God says: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth [scolds] not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (Jas. 1: 5-8).

 

One way to keep from wavering in and out of faith for the wisdom, is to act on it as quickly as you get it. Don’t give yourself time to doubt. When we pointedly ask God for wisdom on something, we need to learn to act on the first thing that comes to our minds, then stop there. If we let ourselves second guess our first thoughts, demons are happy to supply any number of deceptive second, third, fourth, and fifth ideas – all lies and designed to take us down a wrong road. When we need more wisdom, then we simply ask for the next thing, then act on it, then stop again. It’s a step-by-step process. And we don’t give up until the God’s results come.

 

The story of Laban and Jacob in the Bible is a great example of both the spiritual power of the bait and switch demon, and the amazing, life-changing wisdom of God. The record starts in Genesis 29. Jacob came to his relative Laban’s place and began to work for him. “And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel” (Gen. 29: 16).

 

“And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, ‘I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.’ And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her. And Jacob said unto Laban, ‘Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.’

 

“And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast. And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.

 

 “And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he [Jacob] said to Laban, ‘What is this thou hast done unto me? Did not I serve with thee for Rachel? Wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?’” (vss.18,20-23, 25).

 

There it is, the spirit of the “bait and switch.” Laban knew all along the scam he was going to pull off on Jacob.

 

“And Laban said, ‘It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. Fulfil her week, and we will give thee [Rachel] also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years” (vss. 26-27).

 

So Laban got seven more years of work out of Jacob so that Jacob could have Rachel as his wife. But Laban, controlled by the demon, wasn’t about to stop there. Jacob stayed in Laban’s service until he had many children by both wives. Jacob cared for Laban’s cattle, sheep, and goats, and they had increased in number. But Laban had never given Jacob his own cattle or other means of supporting his own family.

 

Jacob was still under the power of Laban’s deception, until finally, Jacob told him: “Give me my wives and my children, for whom I have served thee, and let me go: for thou knowest my service which I have done thee” (Gen. 30:26).

 

Laban was planning to just use him and take from him. When he saw that Jacob was serious about leaving, Laban offered to pay him wages for his work, but Jacob was on to him by now. He didn’t want wages, he wanted to leave and have his own life.

 

Here’s where the great wisdom of God came into play. Jacob told Laban he didn’t want wages, he wanted cattle and sheep and goats. God told Jacob to tell Laban he’d take the weaker ones, the ones who were speckled and spotted. Laban quickly gave in to that idea. He figured Jacob wouldn’t be able to prosper enough to leave if he only was taking the feeble animals. The feeble ones would die for sure, and Jacob would have to stay.

 

But the wisdom of God always works for His people, no matter how crazy it may look to others. God told Jacob to do some odd things that I don’t understand but it worked.

 

“And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white strakes in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.  And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.  

 

“And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted” (Gen. 30: 37-40).

 

God’s will prevailed: “But when the cattle were feeble, he put them not in: so the feebler were Laban's, and the stronger Jacob's. And the man increased exceedingly, and had much cattle, and maidservants, and menservants, and camels, and asses (vss. 42-43).

 

An angel came and told Jacob to get out with all he had and it was three days before Laban discovered he had gone.

 

Jacob escaped as a prosperous and happy man because he had relied on the wisdom of God to show him how to righteously and lawfully take from the “bait and switch” spirit in Laban, rather than the other way around.

 

In Las Vegas I’ve learned from the wisdom of God, how to be Jacob. I am able to enjoy the best (for me) of what’s offered, without giving Laban much of anything. I have to totally rely on the wisdom of God to direct my ways. We all need to perfect our reliability and expectation of Gods wisdom in our everyday lives.  

 

God’s wisdom will always get us around, and out, and up. Ask, act quickly without doubting or wavering, and receive.

 

Love, Carolyn

 

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GIVING GOD RECOGNITION IN EVERYDAY LIFE

GIVING GOD RECOGNITION IN EVERYDAY LIFE

It occurred to me this week that many Christians, including me, are neglecting part of our mission as followers of Jesus Christ. How? You ask. Well, we just don’t talk about the Lord in our everyday speech. God does so much for us, and His son Jesus does too, and yet when we relate our daily events to friends, family members, and strangers, we use a lot more of the phrase “I did this and that, and great things happened” rather than “Jesus did this for me” or “God opened this for me.” When God answers prayers, we give Him the recognition in private, but too often, we don’t acknowledge Him publicly in our everyday speech or our posts on social media.

 

When we’ve taken Jesus as our Lord, our lives aren’t nearly as much about us as they are about our Lord and brother Jesus Christ, and our Father God, the true God of heaven. As it says in Philippians 2:13: “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” Whether we recognize it or not, God loves us and is personally interested and involved in everything about our lives every day.

 

God has given us a personal Lord to guide us, talk with us, help us, and be with us all the time. He’s arranged for signs and wonders to happen around us. He’s given us angels to protect us and warn us and push us in the right direction at times when we are hesitant. He’s arranged for other Christian believers to befriend us, and He’s even inspired unbelievers to do certain things that end up benefitting us. When we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, God not only rescued us forever from Satan’s hell, but He took oversight of us and continues to orchestrate as many of His blessings toward us as we will accept. He certainly deserves our spoken recognition and praise.

 

I love how the King James version translates Philippians 1:27: “Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel.” I know that several translations replace the word “conversation” with phrases like “your manner of life” or “how you conduct yourself,” and that is definitely the bigger picture, but what we say out loud is a huge part of who we are and who we represent.

 

I think that the saying, “your actions speak louder than your words,” has been taken way too far. We have over-emphasized the action part and nearly annihilated the words part. But I really don’t think any of us have done this on purpose. It’s been a sneaky play on the devil’s part. He’s slowly introduced the idea into our thinking and culture, including the church. So we’ve tried to live for God without acknowledging Him (accept in designated praise and worship time at church, or in our private times in prayer.) This concept and practice has to change.

 

Jesus told his disciples back then, and he is telling us now: “Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mark 16:15).

 

We all know that the definition of the Greek word for “gospel” is “good news.” But do we know how easy it is to preach it? Every time we tell someone that “Jesus did this for me,” or “God opened that door,” or “Jesus brought that person to me,” or “God got that person away from me.” All of these verbal recognitions of the Lord’s presence in our lives—these are preaching the gospel! We’re doing God’s will, and it’s so easy to do.

 

We just say it. We recognize the source of the good things that happen in a day, giving God the recognition in our daily conversation. If we do it, others will start to do it too.  

 

Remember “Every good gift…is from above” (James 1:17).

 

Love, Carolyn

 

PS: Just now as I finished writing, Jane came in the door and said she had a present for me and handed me an Audubon calendar. She was at a coffee shop and a young couple in front of her were standing in line and had the calendar and didn’t know what to do with it. Jane overheard them talking and said, “I’ll take it if you don’t want it. My friend loves birds.” When she gave it to me, I said, “Thanks Jane. I love it! Jesus did that for me!” Thanks Jesus, and thanks Jane.

 

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IT'S SEEDTIME IN VEGAS

IT’S SEEDTIME IN VEGAS

Here in Las Vegas it’s time to plant new seeds. This past winter I planted a winter vegetable garden. Now I’m going to do one for the summer vegetables. I have quite a bit of mental work to do, like figuring out what seeds to plant, where to plant them, which ones will grow well together, etc. Did you know broccoli and tomatoes don’t like each other much? The tomatoes don’t produce very well when they’re next to broccoli! This principle applies to us humans as well, doesn’t it? We produce better around certain people and not so well around others! There’s much to learn about life from what God has shown us in the physical world He created.

 

On the can in the picture above it says: “Faith plants the seed; Love makes it grow.” That is so true of our relationship with God. He inspired the writing of His many life lessons so we would be able to live a life that is pleasing to Him. The seeds are in the Bible, ready to be planted in our hearts.

 

Then Jesus shows us, in a practical sense, how we can choose to love God and see those wonderful seeds of faith grow in our everyday life. Luke 2:52 says: “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.”

 

We can grow in wisdom too, as we plant the seeds of truth from the Bible into our minds and hearts. Faith plants a seed when we read a Bible verse to our minds and agree with our mouths by saying, “I believe it.” Then professing our love to God and love for each other sparks the spiritual seed to grow. Since all natural things start with spirit, once the spirit in us receives the message that we believe, the spirit itself nourishes the seed’s growth into a manifested reality.

 

The tiny seeds I’ll bury in the soil this week will seem to be nothing: won’t be able to see them at all, just have faith they’re still there. Then in a few weeks they’ll pop up as sprouts, then grow into full-size plants producing yummy vegetables. Similarly, all spiritual things have to look like something when they are manifested into our physical realm.

 

Let’s plant a scriptural seed in our minds and hearts this week, saying “I believe it.” Let’s tell God we love Him and love Jesus and each other, and see how fast the seed will grow and manifest in our physical lives.

 

Love, Carolyn

 

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IF WE SHOW UP, HE SHOWS UP

 

IF WE SHOW UP, HE SHOWS UP

I get a little nervous every time before I write one of these preach letters and sometimes have no idea what’s going to come out. But I do know this much: If I just show up, the Lord shows up. We all have certain places we go where the Lord meets us, a certain chair we like, a bench out in the yard, a path in the woods, or behind the wheel of the car on a favorite roadway. One of the places I go to is my chair at my desk where my laptop lives. If I show up to write, He will be there every time.

 

Our Lord Jesus had His favorite places to go, where He could talk to God alone. One of those places was a mountain. “And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone” (Matt. 14:23). And John 6:14: “When Jesus therefore perceived that they would come and take him by force, to make him a king, he departed again into a mountain himself alone.”

 

John 7:53 to John 8:1 tells us that after a long day of preaching and ministering to the people, “every man went unto his own house. Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.”

 

Just think about it for a few minutes. When you have a really tough situation you’re facing, where do you go to get calm or clear your head? Jesus had his favorite locations. You do too. You may not have recognized it as such, but let’s start paying attention to what touches our souls. Intimacy with the Lord has to look like something in our natural realm.

 

Jesus went to a mountain, and sometimes He went to a garden. “When Jesus had spoken these words, he went forth with his disciples over the brook Cedron, where was a garden, into the which he entered, and his disciples” (John 18:1). “Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, ‘Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder’” (Matt. 26:36).

 

When and where is it that you feel the closest to God? Is it when you’re sitting in your bed in the middle of the afternoon when there’s no one else around? Or is it when you’re on an early morning ride on your motorcycle? Or on a brisk walk around the block in your neighborhood? Or is it sitting quietly in your church on a day and time when hardly any people are around?

 

Inside of you, you already know where one of your special places is, a physical place where the Lord has met you before. If you are trying to think of where it is, and you don’t really think you have one, that’s okay; this will be a new adventure for you to find it.

 

Prayerfully ask the Lord to show you and then do the first thing that comes to mind. Often when we’re learning to hear the voice of the Lord, we practice by asking a simple question and then just doing the first thing that comes to mind. 99% of the time, it will be the Lord. He wants you to hear His voice even more than you do! Don’t second-guess yourself. Take the first thought and go for it. Don’t be afraid. If you just show up, He’ll be there the first time and every time after.

 

Our real-life intimate locations already exist. We don’t have to go overseas to find them. They are within easy reach of where we live. Recognize and report for duty. The Lord is waiting for you.

 

God is everywhere, but intimacy with Him has to look like something. Let’s find those special places with the Lord and visit often.

 

Love, Carolyn

 

I’m getting ready to put another book together, about what God teaches us from nature. Meanwhile, check out my other books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=WINGS%3A+A+Journey+in+Faith+by+carolyn+molica&crid=3GBPN2RO8RZMF&sprefix=wings+a+journey+in+faith+by+carolyn+molica%2Caps%2C257&ref=nb_sb_noss